Who Are You? Shifting identity, meaning and purpose in the modern world.
After the interview with Dr. Id, I walked away with one clear, new understanding: In our modern world, a fixed, lifelong identity is not necessarily a constant.
The same theme is reflected in the “making meaning” posts; ”meaning” is not a constant thread through our lives, but a shifting changing thing, which often requires our active participation.
Similar shifting patterns are showing up in the workplace - previously stable job expectations of a 20-40 year worklife with one company are eroding, replaced by short term project-teams, consultants and temp workers.
Relationships are changing the same way; instead of a pairing expected to last for a lifetime, or even decades, “long term relationships” are measured in years, and family units have drastically changed.
A less obvious reflection of this idea is in plate-spinning productivity — the stress on focus isn’t not on a single, constant goal (a job, family, hobbies, a book) but on balancing and maintaining a shifting table of projects and interests.
All of this flies in the face of a major cultural expectation: that we should have a single defining purpose or goal in our life, that we need to find ourselves once, and then be done with it.
I’ve never quite bought that idea; I’ve always felt we each fill many purposes and places in our lives, some of them simply by happenstance, some of our own making, and some which seem fated (whether by some holy power or unavoidable circumstance doesn’t really matter). Each circumstance, each situation requires that we “find ourselves” in a new way.
I believe this… and yet, I’m thrown every time my life reinvents itself. In part, this is because my belief isn’t really grounded in our culture, but it’s also because I don’t have any real tools to keep me stable through the changes.
If our jobs, relationships, sense of meaning, and over all identity is not a constant - we need to find new ways of finding some sort of personal stability, some new constant.
Over time, I’d like to explore some of the ways we can better deal with these changes, find a constant core to who we are, an identity that makes sense and sustains us throughout the shifting territory.
Have you got any suggestions? Any tricks or tips on how you discovered, invented, or found a “self” which carries you through the most turbulent times? I’m not quite sure where this idea will lead, just that it’s bound to be somewhere interesting. __________________________________
MindTweak: There’s something immensely amusing about an psuedo-anonymous blogger writing about identity, don’t you think?
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Interesting question.
And I suppose posting as a Crab, it may be hard to claim I have any secrets to a stable identity!
Yet through all the huge changes in my life, I still feel a sense of continuity, a sort of core “me” that remains fairly stable even as so much about me changes. Crankiness, skepticism, humor, curiosity, laziness… Maybe that’s it. My “self” is just too lazy to every really change much! Anyway, it works for me.
Great site you have here!
Really glad to see you here, Crabby - I’ve loved your site for the whole week I’ve known about it, but have been too much of a hermit to comment. I promise to come out of my shell and let my stable self say something
I think that inner stable core is what will carry us each through the changes — maybe the changes in the world are just exposing more parts that I sometimes have mistakenly identified as part of the “stable self”. There’s a meditation on this somewhere in my files of files….
I don’t have the answer, yet I’m fascinated by the question. I’ve been thinking about this a lot as I’ve been working on a series of posts about Sidney Poitier’s Spiritual Autobiography, The Measure Of A Man.
Poitier says that his sense of self was shaped in the Caribbean. He says he carried this throughout Hollywood and beyond.
@Galba… that makes a lot of sense to me, about Poitier’s sense of self. Over and over again, I keep coming back to the idea of my genetic cultural roots, with all of their American Mutt-ness, as the core of who I am.
Is it my imagination, or do I see similiarities or at least similar influences/guiding principals between you and Poitier? It’s something in your carriage and bearing, that comes through even online - You seem to project a calm, quiet dignity.
Hi MT:
You’ve made me laugh again
. The written word is an interesting medium and is well interpreted by imaginative mindtweakers 
.People often tell me things about myself based on my writing.
Poitier’s story fascinates me because I’m curious about the interaction between individuals, their environment and ideas about determinism.
I don’t know about being like the great SP, but I do remember seeing In the Heat Of the Night as a youngster. On screen Poitier has an intensity and focus that I admire and his autobiography gives great insights into where it came from. I’m really looking forward to writing the remaining articles in the series.
Yay for laughter : )
Our writing can be very revealing, sometimes too revealing, even when approached in a non-personal manner.
I’ll have to go back and reread the Poitier series, and interpret further.
Of course, I’m very afraid of what this blog says about me. (especially since it would likely be very true)
Expressing your ideas via the written word is an act of courage. Can I shamelessly suggest that you read this article?
http://tuneupyoureq.com/2007/07/06/whats-your-emotional-intelligence-story/.
Thank you for pointing that post out — be shameless all you want: )
I’d read it before, but re-read it with an eye towards this discussion - I’ve always liked the idea of our “stories” revealing a lot about who we are. Maybe if I feel adventurous this week I’ll make a post about stories.
Or maybe I’ll just let the donkey guest post : )
I’m the donkey’s agent, so we can negotiate
Ok, you made me laugh out loud with that one.
Or maybe it was more a bray out loud?