Dismembering Identity: The Contemplation Itself (part 2)

(If you haven’t read part 1 yet, you can find it here. You dont have to read it, of course, but it provides context, a few laughs, and a really cute chick with a chainsaw, so it’s probably worth your time. )

Now, on with the contemplating!

Make yourself comfy. Sink into the chair a bit.

Soften your eyes.

Let your mind wander over all of the labels and parts and bits that make you “who you are”; the pieces of you that make up your identity.

Are you Mother, Doctor, Artist, Husband, Computer Geek? Are you about beautiful, rich, dark-skinned, plain-Jane?

Consider briefly how those identifications affect your interactions in the world… and consider the opposite: how interactions in the world affects these identifications.

Now, gently… one by one, strip them away. Take away the labels. Let them dissolve before your eyes, and watch. See what happens to your idea of who you are. See what parts of “You” change when you dismember your identity. Note which parts stay the same.

Seem a little confusing? I’ll walk you through it.

We’ll start with a simple example, a more shallow bit of identity — something like, say, your hair.

Would you still be yourself, if your hair was a different color? What if it was shorter, or longer? What if it was shaved off, or grown out and lush? Would you still be yourself?

What if you weighed significantly more, or less? Younger, or older? What if you dressed differently? Would you still be “You” ?

You may or may not cringe at the idea of a major change in your appearance. It may be uncomfortable to imagine your head shaved, or a 100lb difference in your weight. You’d look a bit different, certainly… and maybe you’d even act a bit different, but you can probably imagine that you’d still be “You”.

But what if you suddenly hated your favorite food? Stopped (or started) reading fiction? Developed or lost a taste for slasher films?

Would you still be “You” if you had a different job? What if you were a goat-farmer, an advertising exec, a ballet dancer? how does that change your concept of self? Does it change?

What if you lost a hand? Both arms? (I did promise you dismemberment.) The use of your legs? What if you were confined to a wheel chair?

What if you weren’t?

What if your personality changed? Your sexual orientation? Would you still be you?

There are no right or wrong answers. All of these things are part of how we define ourselves, and part of your identity. Stripping them away changes you, changes how you relate, changes how others relate. Some changes are subtle, some are drastic.

By imagining these things, looking at how they change (or don’t change) the core of who you are, you’ll strengthen your ability to deal with actual changes in how you relate in the world.

The better you get at dismembering your identity in your head, the more stable your core identity will become. The more of the transient bits of “You” stop identifying with…. the more you’ll discover about the essential “You-ness” that remains. you’ll become.

Working through this exercise takes a lifetime. The longer you’re alive, the more labels you’ll accumulate, the more ideas about “who you are” that you’ll need to examine. As each layer falls apart, another is revealed… at first the new layer will seem like the “real you” but if you test that layer, over time, its likely to be revealed as just another layer to be shed.

The process is enlightening stabilizing, and strengthens your sense of self, even as it challenges it. You may find your ego dissolving, you may find a sort of pseudo-Buddhist enlightenment, or even a true Buddhist sense of enlightenment. You may discover that “You” don’t exist, or you may discover an archetypal inner self, that will serve you throughout your lifetime. You might discover your inner goat-farmer, or that you really are a simple red-haired Irish girl who loves to party.

Whatever you discover about yourself, it’s bound to make you more stable in the face of the modern challenges to personal identity. You’ll suffer less, and provide stability to others, which in turn will help stabilize the world at large.

It’s a tweakingly-cool power tool, isn’t it?

(If you still haven’t read part 1, you can go back and read it here. And for you guys… The other cute girl awaits you there.)

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MindTWEAK: Happiness does not come from having much, but from being attached to little. - Venerable Cheng Yen

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