Meet Your Inner Donkey

Donkeys are interesting creatures.

Throughout history, they’ve served in a partnership with humans. They appear in folk and religious stories, they serve as pack, riding, cart, gaurd and companionship animals, and have a reputation for being intelligent, strong, protective, and…. stubborn. Nicer terms would be “single-minded” or “committed”, but it boils down to “stubborn”.

Somewhere inside of you, you have a donkey-brain, that part of your mind which seems to have a will of its own. Often it serves you well, doing the heavy lifting so that your conscious ego doesn’t need to strain itself, but other times, that stubbornness comes into play.

Remember all of those times you resolved to start a new exercise program, but didn’t? That was your inner donkey, refusing to budge. Those days you hit the snooze button a few too many times, and wound up 2 hours late for work? Donkey strikes again. Those times you’ve wasted the entire weekend plonked down on the sofa, remote in hand? Inner donkeys, it turns out, love watching golf, black and white movies in spanish, and reruns of Mr. Ed and Green Acres.

But his (or her) stubborness isn’t all bad. Real world donkeys are often prized for their refusal to go into dangerous situations, and likewise, your inner donkey’s balky nature can keep you from leaping before you look. Trouble is, sometimes you have looked, and you need to leap anyway. And sometimes, you may really need to do something, you know the risks and difficulties, you’ve calculated the cost, and yet, that donkey of yours just will not move. Instead of acting as your helper, and carrying part of your burden, he plonks himself down on the ground, forcing you to push, pull, cajole and beg him to just move. Maybe you’ve even shown him your accounting spread sheet, or scientific studies extolling the benefits of aerobic exercise.

But donkeys, it turns out, are rarely moved by logic. What you need is a carrot. A carrot on a stick, to tempt the donkey forward. Now, it’s unlikely that we’re talking a *literal* carrot here - After all we’re not talking a literal donkey. You need to find out what motivates your particular donkey. And to do that, you have to make friends with him.

First you have to find him.

This can be a bit tricky, since he may be hiding from you. Still, he does live inside your own mind, so he can’t have gone too far.

Just close your eyes, and picture him. You may see only a glimpse of him at first - maybe a hoof, or the tip of an ear. Pay attention to whatever glimpses do appear, and follow the thoughts. After all, where you see a donkey’s ear, his head must follow.

Let the details emerge as they will. Note the coat color, size, attitude, any unique markings. Is he more wild burro, or mule? Maybe he’s a she. Maybe he’s blue, like Eeyore, or a social chatterbox, like in the Shrek films.

Introduce yourself. Offer to shake his hoof. Give him a good brushing, and scratch him behind the shoulders.

Once you’ve made friends with your inner donkey, you can call up the imagry to help you find the motivation for daily or even big projects. If you’re balking at a task, check in with the donkey, see if he sees some sort of danger you may have missed. If you’re lacking motivation, see if your donkey is trying to sleep in — maybe you can just leave him tucked under the covers while you go and get things done. Or perhaps, you’ll discover hidden motivations that you never expected. For instance, I discovered that my own inner donkey is very vain about his intellect.

Alternately, you could try the traditional method of hitting him between the ears with a two-by-four. He’ll either move, or spill out candy.

There’s no need to take all of this too seriously, by the way. If it helps you to think of him as a “real donkey spirit” go for it. But it’s just as useful to see him as a psychological construct, an image you’re creating as a sort of interface with a part of your subconscious.

The donkey likely won’t care much, either way.