Weekly Tweaks Returns! 4 Questions & A Flip

One of my favorite mind-tweaking methods is to track down my most sacred assumptions, turn them upside down, shake violently and see what moos. 

So when  I ran across “The Work” of Byron Katie during a recent New Age debunking binge,  I was pleased  to find it a practical method of  investigating and challenging our beliefs about the world, and how we think it should be.    There *are* some gems  buried in the newage fluff out there (really, there are!) and this appears to be one of them.  Here’s how it goes.

Step One: Identify a judgement, belief or assumption. 

Ms. Katie  seems to focus mainly on people’s beliefs about others, and so she provides a worksheet for putting them into focus, called “Judge-Thy-Neighbor” that a lot of people will find helpful.  

For me, that method seems to be a bit backwards.  I already focus on accepting others as they are, rather than what I think/wish they should change, so a worksheet that encourages me to think about what I think “they” should do (just so I can turn it around) is counterproductive.

Because I’ve already done so much of that sort of thing,  it’s mostly my beliefs about  myself,  my situation or the world at large which give me the most grief.    Luckily, Byron Katie’s methods work on just about any statement or problem that can be dreamed up.  We can adapt her worksheet to beliefs about the world (or ourselves), or just set it aside and work with any old idea of how we think things are, or how we think things should be.

All that matters here is that you isolate a belief or a desire, and put it in concrete terms.  The belief doesn’t need to be a “problem”  -   the system works fine with  simple concepts  (The sky is blue/I like chocolate) or complex philosophical ideas (I believe in God/All men are created equal)

Sometimes just isolating and identifying a particular belief will help with anxiety, depression or a relationship issue.  Putting vague worries into concrete form can be a big help.    For instance, vague worry about money is a common problem, but tough to act on without specifics.  Narrowing your concern to “I won’t have enough money to get through the month” or “I’m afraid I won’t have enough for retirement” is something you can tackle head on, and *do* something about — Action is a great anxiety reliever

Step Two:  Ask 4 questions.

(The questions are Byron Katie’s, the comments are my own)

1. Is it true?
   The first instinct, of course, is to say yes - but it’s surprising how many of our beliefs crumble under the mildest scrutiny. 
2. Can you absolutely know it is true?
   An awareness of the uncertainty of our knowledge keeps us humble, keeps us questioning, keeps us less attached to our beliefs, more willing to change our views of the world when necessary.  Keeping the mind flexible means keeping the brain “plastic”.
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
   Your answer will reveals the impact of the belief on you - is it positive, negative, neutral? Do you have a strong emotional attachment to it,  or a healthy or unhealthy detachment?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
   This final question explores how deeply this belief is wound into your identity.  The more wound into your identity a belief is, the more likely you are to desperately defend it, the less able you are to re-evaluate its truthfulness. 

Step Three:  Flip that Sacred Cow! (Or do a “Turnaround”  as Byron Katie puts it)

Rephrase your belief so that it is turned around or reversed in some way.  

For instance, if the belief you’re examining is “I don’t think I have enough money to get through the month”  you might reverse it to “I definitely have enough money to get through this month”  or “I have more than enough money for this month” or “This month isn’t long enough for me to spend all of my money”  (Hey, I like that one!)

There are often several different ways a statement can be reversed. “Joe should talk to me more often” can become “Joe shouldn’t talk to me more often” or “I should talk to Joe more often”.     “I believe in God” can  be flipped to “I don’t believe in God” or “God believes in me”.   

Just the process of turning the belief on its head gives your brain a workout of sorts, forcing new modes of thought, challenging the old familiar neuro-pathways. 

Step Four: Ask Again

Once you’ve come up with the reversed concept, go through the 4 questions again.  Ask yourself if the statement is true, if you can absolutely know it is true.  Examine your reactions to the statement, examine how it makes you fee,  and consider who you would be if you had this opposite belief or assumption.

That’s all there is to it.

It’s an interesting exercise, and similar to many similar (but often more difficult) pseudo-buddhist practices I’ve done over the years .   If you repeat it often enough, you’ll find yourself automatically checking statements by reversing them - a habit that can help you be both more creative, and better at detecting .. well.. BS (upside down, or not).

Keep in mind that there  is no right or wrong  answer to these questions;  it  really isn’t *about* the questions and answers at all.  It’s about the process of discovering what you actually think, and feel, and how you know what you know, and the way that questioning your assumptions stretches your brain and helps you to think in new ways.  

So a big “Thank You” to Byron Katie for coming up with a practical, challenging yet simple way of examining beliefs of all sorts.   Is it as life changing as her follower’s say?  I dunno about that.

But turning your sacred cows upside down  can certainly be brain-changing,  and changing your brain can, indeed, change your life!

For more info on this system, including
 free printable pdf worksheets, see
Byron Katie’s website:
 http://www.thework.com/

MindTweak: When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.                                                                                                         - Byron Katie