Brain Rules For Bloggers: Of Sex and Exploration

This is Part Six of the Brain Rules for Bloggers series, based on
John Medina’s excellent book & dvd, Brain Rules.

Brain Rule #11: Male and Female Brains Are Different (and they’ll read your blog differently, too.)

It should come as no real surprise that men and women think differently; from the time we’re infants (or a splotch on a sonogram) the world assigns us little labels in pink or blue, and then trains us to react accordingly.

But the differences run deeper than baby-blanket colors. Through a combination of nature and nuture, the differences are wired into our brains according to our sex.

This is a difficult segment to write. The wording is awkward, the assertions are awkward, and I’m usually allergic to gender based generalizations, because they are so often used as excuses or justifications for poor behavior. The science does not support those excuses and justifications - there’s a lot we dont know about the gender difference in the brain, but we *do* know that neither gender has any sort of inherent brain-based advantage over the other. We also know that the brains of both sexes are capable of learning new ways to process things, and that the generalizations do not hold true on an individual basis.

With that said?

Men and women really do think differently.

Male and female brains process experiences differently, including how they handle stress and emotion, how they cooperate and compete with the owners of other brains, how they form relationships and how we use words.

We don’t really know why the differences are there, what purpose they might have served evolution wise. We do know that genetics plays a part, and that differences in X and Y chromosomes mean women are much more complex genetically. But so far, there’s no clear evidence to suggest that the differences in processing make one gender any better over all, or even in specific tasks. Both sexes seem able to come up with the same answers, we just get there differently.

What does this have to do with blogging?

Beyond the overworked point that “sex sells”, these brain differences underscore the need to know your target (and actual) audience.

Because of the differences in our brains, male and female readers will approach your blog differently. To be the most effective blogger you can be, you need to know who you are writing for, what they will react to, how to best engage them.

Is your blog aimed at men, women, or a combination? Are you accidentally alienating readers of one gender? Could you target your blog more strongly towards a single gender, and, ironically wind up with a larger audience? Traditional Media has taken that later approach for years - but don’t take things too far and fall into stereotype land, either.

Not sure just who is reading your blog? Ask them. Run a poll and find out! (If you’re running Wordpress, check out the WP-Polls Plugin - most blog platforms have something similar)

Men and women use words differently

From a blogger’s perspective, one of the more interesting differences is how the sexes use words in establishing social status. Men often use words to demonstrate dominance, engaging in a sort of verbal sparing that both establishes and reveals a hierarchy. Those who win the battles of words and wind up giving orders to other males are viewed as leaders, and leaders tend to be more trusted as authorities.

But women use communication not so much to establish dominance, but to develop relationships and form bonds. As women talk to one another, confide secrets and share ideas, they begin to feel closer, develop trust and respect for one another.

And while men who give orders are seen as leaders, women who give orders are usually seen as just bossy, and may be even punished for it through social isolation.

Like it or not, our readers often react to the words we write according to their perception of our gender. The impact may be less predictable in written forms, but it’s still there at times, and it’s something to keep in mind. Its also worth remembering that your readers may *not* be aware of your gender, and they may project their own assumptions based on your style.

How do you tailor your blogging style to account for that?

Aim for a balance. Write with authority, but without appearing to give orders. Temper your instructional text a bit: Instead of saying “Do this” say “We can do ____ ” or “You might try ______” . Find a middle ground where you can sound assertive, but not challenging (to male readers) or bossy (to female readers). To help create bonds with your female readers, share a secret now and then, confide in your readers. Or vary your tone from time to time

A quick glance at many blog comment sections will quickly show you the differences in communication style, and I’ve certainly seen it here on MindTweaks. Female readers usually write to say how a particular post connects to their world, and offer support/reassurance in the comments. If they offer a correction, they may do so almost apologetically, and their posts generally contribute more to a feeling of community. Male readers, on the other hand, are more likely to comment with a sort of playful one upmanship, or redirect the discussion a bit with a note of competitiveness, even when they agree with the post. Each commenting style have value, each contributes to the overall sense of community, and each requires a different response from me.

In Summary?

Know the gender of your target and actual audience. Know that they will perceive your blog differently, according to their gender, and their perception of *your* gender. Unless you’re already recognized as a leader, temper your language so that you don’t appear challenging to men, or bossy to women. And every so often, share something on a personal level, a confession or secret, to help create a bond with feminine readers - but don’t overdo this one, lest your male readers see it as a weakness. It’s a tough balance to strike, and yes, readers will know if you’re faking it or insincere.

For most of us, a simple awareness of the gender of our readers goes a long way, and will improve relationships with our readers in a natural way.

Next In The Series?

Well.. It was supposed to be entitled Brain Rules 4 Bloggers, Part Six-and-a-half: Letting Your Readers Explore. Why six and a half? Because this was getting too long, but I was unwilling to give up the oh-so-clever post title of “Sex and Exploration”. Selfish, I know, but there it is!

But when I went back to edit this post a few months later, part 6.5 was nowhere to be found. I’m not sure if it’s magically gone missing, or if it went off exploring on its own, and forgot to come back. But the long and short of it is that the human brain is built to explore. The Blogosphere built itself in part around the exploration instinct…. people like to follow links, discover other blogs, cool toys, widgets and view points.

So link frequently. Link to your own posts, link to other peoples blogs. Build a relevant blogroll, even if they’re out of fashion. Give your readers useful ways to explore, and they’ll eventually follow the breadcrumbs back to you for more.

If you’re looking for rules 1-10, you can find them covered in the posts below. And be sure and visit the Brain Rules website for multimedia content that’s WAY more stimulating to the senses than I can manage with my limited budget ; )