sheep

It started with couple of drunken college jocks being pulled over for speeding, and escalated when a hot gay research ram was discovered in the back of their truck.

No, not “hot” as in sexy — the ram was hot as in stolen.

Turns out that the ram was liberated from an Oregon research center, where his gayness was the subject of a joint university study. Apparently, as many as 10% of rams prefer to mount other males - ignoring the females. Seems this presents a problem for ranchers with sheep breeding programs, so a study was set up to find out why these rams are differently-oriented, and if the orientation could be predicted or changed through hormonal treatments.

The story hit the papers because it was just damn funny. I mean.. university football players with a stolen gay sheep. The jokes write themselves, and reporters and bloggers couldn’t resist. As time went on, the hilarity mounted and the puns bred (presumedly they were the female-oriented rams). Do a search on Googlenews for “gay sheep research” - I promise ewe, my puns are not the worst on the topic)

Anyway, all jokes aside, once PETA caught wind of the experiments, the wool really started flying. Among other things, they claimed that aspects of the experiments amounted to sheep-rape. (I’m not kidding. Sheep-rape) So PETA did what any group of activists normally does, when faced with such overwhelming horror - they started a letter writing campaign.

Among the letter writers they encouraged was Tennis-star-turned-gay-rights-activist Martina Navratilova, who called the experiments “homophobic and cruel”. This, in turn, led to more absurdity about how the researchers were denying the sheep their god-given rights to be gay.

Seriously.
But Wait. It gets better.
The Baptists get involved.

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